Some of the best parenting advice I have ever read comes from the new book by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D., Bring Out the Best in Your Child and Your Self: Creating a Family Based on Mutual Respect. Rather than managing kids or modifying their behavior, Dr. Val-Essen’s approach is about encouraging growth.
Bring Out the Best in Your Child and Your Self is based more on principles than advice. Creating an atmosphere of mutual respect and encouraging the best within your kids and yourself are two of the most important things you can do. Parents must keep in mind that everything they say can affect their child’s self-esteem.
Author of the book, Ilene Val-Essen has been kind enough to share with us this wonderful list of tips below.
1: Believe in your children’s yearning to be their best.
2: Interpret their difficult behavior as a cry for help. When your children “lose it,” they want you to help them cool down.
3: Remember: Beneath children’s challenging behavior, there’s always a legitimate need.
4: Rather than assume you know your children’s motives, use a door opener: I’m curious, Help me understand, Tell me your side.
5: Take care of yourself; your mood affects the “weather” in the house.
6: Solicit your children’s opinions when decisions affect their lives.
7: Set appropriate boundaries; children need them.
8: Facilitate your children to solve their own problems; don’t play referee.
9: Have age-appropriate expectations; they’ll respect you for respecting them.
10: Water the flowers, not the weeds; acknowledge what you want to grow.
I highly recommend Bring Out the Best in Your Child and Your Self. As I was reading it, I found myself constantly nodding in agreement. It all makes so much sense, yet we often are not our best selves. Reading this book will really make you think about what is best for your teens, your family and you.
Full Disclosure: I received a free electronic version of this book to review.
See also :
Self-Esteem in Girls and Women – More Info and Resources
Talking with Teen and Tween Girls about Self-Esteem
Moms and Daughters Share ‘Think’ by Lisa Bloom
Unstoppable in Stilettos – Lessons in Self-confidence and Success
Author of The Available Parent on Connecting With Your Teens